Meltdown

She screams, and throws herself down. I try redirection...."let's wipe up water with towels". Instead, she gets upset when she sees a dirty sippy cup and I won't let her have it.

Meltdown.

The cup is dirty, it's not for you. She doesn't understand. And so we rock.

She screams and kicks.

A soft answer turns away wrath..... I whisper in her ear....."I love you......I love you...........I love you....."

She's angrier......my love is not wanted, it's not enough.

But slowly, the anger subsides, and we rock.

Eyes, heavy, drifting off.......the music seems so loud in contrast to the stillness of her. She's limp in my arms.

My sweet daughter, you were tired, that's all. Not rebellious, just tired and lacking understanding. I lift her up and climb the stairs to her room.

She lays in her crib and instinctually grabs her dolly and her blanket. Resting peacefully after a storm.

Tears flow, but from me this time. I am her. I don't understand sometimes. I get angry at my Father for not giving me what I want. I get tired. I am tired.

He holds me. I kick.......

He whispers "I love you"

I arch my back and say "It's not enough!"

He is patient, and He is kind. Slowly, surely, I start to rest, to relax in His arms. In His arms, I find safety, I find rest. And His love is enough.

Mother's Day

Two bright glowing faces......

“Happy Mother's Day!”

Two pieces of burnt toast, burned fresh this morning......

Two dandelions, picked from the yard.....

Two homemade cards, hastily drawn...........

One momma's heart, full of love, but heavy......

Longing for what's missing....

The missing toast.

The missing flower.

The missing card.

Longing for who is missing.

One momma's heart, full of love, but heavy......


Happy Mother's Day, to all the mothers out there with full but heavy hearts.